Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Most unfortunately,

As you may have already guessed, it was my birthday (on the 23rd), and I still can't believe how I still have not actually done anything with my life. All I have ever done is study. For 22 years, study hard. To please others.
All I want to do is to paint and to write and to create.
Now, as every day passes by, I can't help but feel as such a worthless uncertainty.



I don't know anymore.

6 comments:

Sewon said...

It's hard to feel like you're spending your youth inside a building staring into some old book wondering what's the point. I worked extra hard to finish my undergrad studies a semester earlier, because I wanted to get out and explore! You have lots of time to get out there, paint, write, and create. Happy belated birthday!

Orphin Lasz said...

; w ; I have always admired you a whole lot, Miss Sewon, so this means a lot to me!

I will definetely keep your words in mind now and try not to feel discouraged at all times. No matter how hard things may seem, I have to remind myself: I can do it!

Thank you very, very much. I hope everything's going great for you
; 3 ;

JJ Beazley said...

I think this is just one of those mid life crises 22-year-olds suffer, Orphin. You're the second I've heard this week.

If it's any consolation, I didn't start doing anything I considered meaningful until I was 36. I was 32 before I had any idea what I wanted to do. So I did it, and then circumstances took it away from me again. So I did something else, and then something else again. And so on, and so on, and so on... I think there are four basic guidelines for people like you:

1) Go where your heart takes you.
2) Try to have fun while you're doing it.
3) Never chase money for its own sake.
4) Be true to yourself, not what the culture or peer pressure tries to make you be.

And when you get much older, you'll probably look back and wonder what the hell it was all about anyway, whatever you do.

Orphin Lasz said...

; n ; How much more predictable could I get, now, Mr. Beazley? Haha.

...As always, thank you for your words of advice! You know, I've always thought of you as a voice of wisdom and experience, so I will really take your advice into consideration.

And I've been thinking the very same, really: once I graduate from Uni, I'm definetely pursuing my dreams 100%. Enough of excuses and the student life! It will be the time for me to actually do what I enjoy doing! I will remain true to myself, and I will enjoy every part of the ride to the fullest c:

...I just hope my parents won't disinherit me ; A ;

JJ Beazley said...

Have to correct the earlier comment. The other person going through a mid life crisis that week was actually a grand old lady of 23. So maybe not so predictable.

Only wise occasionally, and with other people's affairs. Never my own. Too impulsive. Experience... maybe.

So, yeah, go get it. And please, never avoid trying something because of the fear of failure. That was a barrier I had to get over when I was a freelance photographer. There are few things more rewarding than getting up again after you've fallen over. Everybody falls over some time.

If your parents disinherit you, I have a spare bedroom. It's nowhere near Mexico, though.

Robyn Litchfield said...

from all the lovely posts and comments you make, you are surely a great person!
xoxo robs